bavani's Life Sucks.

It is not fair that I got sick.
It is not fair that I am tired.
It is not fair that I am hungry.
It is not fair that I am sick and tired and hungry, alone.
It is really not fair that I feel so nauseous I can't even eat chocolate.

It is certainly not my fault that I tried to eat. I was hungry.
And it is totally unjust that I have to be blamed for what she did.
I'm not responsible for her, you are.

I have to take care of all the little boys and girls in the world.
Everyone leans on me. It's very heavy.
I'm always the one that does what has to be done.
Who's going to do it when I need it?
Me. Again.

You think I'm whining?
I think I'm deficient.
I don't have any of what I should have.
I've never been given it.
Everything belongs to him.
Not that it's his fault. He doesn't know any of it.
It's yours.

But you're not to blame either, I suppose.
You're deficient, too.
You have no idea.
But you weren't deprived, you threw it away.
Threw me away.

But not completely.
I wish you did.
I'd rather have nothing.

Of course, everything is my fault. It has always been.
I didn't use to be able to defend myself.
I was the weak one, wasn't I?
But not anymore.

Maybe that's the problem.
Now I'm the one that tries to save everyone, and myself on the way.
But I forgot, I can't save myself.
I have to save everyone else.

Not that I don't want to save everyone.
I wouldn't mind being everyone's hero.
But heroes don't have their own heroes.
Heroism is thankless.

I am frustrated to tears.
No one wants to listen.
Maybe I should start talking.
But I can't take that risk again.

Don't wanna die.
Don't wanna die.

Gonna die.